self love tips for people who overthink everything
I overthink so much that I overthink about how much I overthink.
Overthinking can be a vicious cycle of worrying, anxiety, negative thoughts and endless rumination.
Learn how to stop overthinking with self love by breaking down negative thoughts, not assuming people are mad at you, practicing self compassion and journaling your thoughts.
change the topic when things get negative or obsessive
My thoughts can get negative pretty quickly if I let them run wild, and I often don’t have much control. Thinking negatively, and then overthinking and ruminating, can turn into a vicious cycle quickly.
When you feel negative thoughts arising, start by taking a deep breath. Understand the thoughts and the feeling that comes with the thoughts.
Dr. Lisa W. Coyne, a licensed clinical psychologist, referred to “experiential avoidance” as the phenomenon in which we focus solely on removing negative self talk and the critical voice in our heads.
Self love tip: Try to spark a balance between the self realization that the thoughts are present and a level of distraction to let the thoughts pass on naturally but timely.
It can definitely be hard to learn how to get rid of negative thoughts, but remember to identify them one at a time and call them out.
Distraction is also an option, when you feel the overthinking taking over. That could look like turning on a movie, calling a friend or going outside and taking a walk.
how to stop overthinking about people being mad at you
I constantly think people are mad at me, which can negatively impact relationships with those around me and create unnecessary problems or beef in my own head.
Chances are people aren’t as upset with me, or even thinking about me, as much as I think so in my head.
My thoughts will often amplify the situation leading to me making a bigger deal out of things.
I’ll overthink every single interaction and obsess over the small things I’ve done that could have set them off.
I’ll feel like I have to decide if I’m in the right or wrong of this reality I created in my head by ruminating.
Self love tip: Take a step back and stop assuming people are mad at you. Reach out and ask, consider the proof and reasoning of why you believe they’re mad, understand lack of attention doesn’t mean they’re mad and consider the alternatives.
If it’s making you overthink and obsess, I promise it’s okay to reach out. Who cares? The people in my life who are worth a place in it are worth a conversation.
And honestly, sometimes I just don’t want to deal with the anxiety. I’d rather get it over with and know now how you feel. I don’t want to spend days or weeks wondering. Just let me know now.
It can be hard to stop overthinking and look at the bigger picture, but it’s important to look at the reality of the situation.
Recognize what’s real and what’s not. Consider what actually happened and what you have proof for instead of what you could have amplified in your head and thoughts.
There can be several reasons why it seems this person is mad at you. Explore and consider the alternatives instead of instantly blaming yourself.
additional content: how to stop assuming people are mad at you & the psychology behind it
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find a place to put your thoughts & overthinking journal prompts
It sucks when your thoughts are going a million miles a minute, and it feels like you’re going to explode.
I wish they could just run out of my head instead of going in a loop.
When it feels like there’s nowhere for your thoughts to go, try writing them down.
Self love tip: Journal your thoughts when you find yourself stuck in an overthinking loop. It can help to find a place outside of your head to stick your thoughts, while clearing your mind and making room for more positive thoughts.
Examples of journal prompts about overthinking:
What thoughts keep replaying in my mind?
How can I interrupt a thought spiral with a grounding method?
What’s one worry I can put on paper so I don’t carry it in my head?
How much energy is this thought costing me? Is it worth it?
What outcome am I afraid of, and how can I prepare calmly instead?
How can I remind myself that not all thoughts are facts?
What’s a situation in the past where I overthought, but it worked out fine?
What’s one affirmation I can repeat when I notice spiraling thoughts?
practice self compassion
When the overthinking becomes overwhelming, try to practice self compassion and remember that you deserve grace from whatever you’re overthinking about.
Be soft and forgiving with yourself.
If you find yourself being extra harsh to yourself and obsessing over things you’ve done, remember you’re human and not perfect.
Self love tip: Give yourself self compassion, and remember this is everyone’s first and only life too.
No one does everything right in this world, and it’s a good reminder in your low moments.
additional content: why having it all still feels hard: tough days & compassion
