There’s a thrill that comes with reaching out to an ex and breaking no contact.

There’s an excitement of knowing that you get to talk to someone who makes your heart skip a beat, whether in a good or bad way. There’s butterflies that come with wondering how they will respond and when.

But there’s also many downsides and anxieties: the possibility of being left on read, the potential of receiving a message you wouldn’t like or the danger of getting into another on-again, off-again situation.

It’s hard to have the discipline to stand on your decision to not have this person in your life and limit interactions.

Whether you’re going full no contact, or aren’t in the space to talk to your ex as much right now, I’m here to make sure you feel supported and end up successful.

Here are some reminders for the days you want to reach out to your ex again:

they already proved they can’t be the one for you.

Remember, the stage of finding out if this person is your soulmate is over.

They already proved they aren’t. Things ended, and it’s not productive to fantasize about them still being the one.

You have to come to terms that they are incapable of being the one for you.

Did they meet or exceed the qualities you’re looking for in a life partner?

If not, the person you’re looking for is still out there, hoping you’ll be emotionally available to connect with them.

Make sure you’re emotionally available for the person that is right for you by doing the hard work and healing now.

Get in the right mindset and let go of what your ex is holding over you to make you want to reach out.

you don’t need to know their thinking & reasoning.

If it wasn’t your decision to end the relationship, It’s only natural to want to know the reason why your ex chose to end things, chose someone else or just why they aren't the right person for you.

It’s so tempting to try to fight for them and beg them to still want you.

Unfortunately, I’ve done it way too many times with men. In my head, there must be a mistake. Why wouldn’t you want to be with me?

But it’s not your responsibility to reason or find out why they feel the way they do.

Walk away with your head held high, and remember you're worth more than this person is subduing you to.

If they don’t see your worth and potential, they are not your person.

Something that helps me is reminding myself that I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t want me or that I had to plead with to stay with me.

Don’t ruin your peace by reaching out. Fill in the blanks for yourself if you need to, and find the closure within yourself.

additional content: a guide on how to go no contact and tips to survive it

the what ifs will most likely never be.

We all fantasize about someone that’s not good for us changing into the perfect person for us, right?

“I can change him.”

“I can help him with his flaws.”

“I can make him a better man.”

Or am I the only delusional one out there?

Let me warn you as someone who’s been there, done that: the what ifs aren’t helpful. They keep you in your head and allow you to avoid fully letting them go.

Stop thinking this person will change because they won’t. If you’re not someone’s soul mate who is worth fighting for, don’t try to convince them otherwise.

Accept that things have changed, and take the reality for what it is. The situation doesn’t need to be seen with rose-colored glasses.

Reaching out to them when you think they’ve changed always seems like a better idea than it is.

I hate the fall that comes after reaching out to someone and coming to the conclusion that it wasn’t worth it. I don’t want you to feel regrets or further pain.

Join our self love club.

your future self won’t be happy.

Keep how you will feel down the line in mind. Will you be proud of your decision tomorrow, or even in an hour?

I can be very impulsive, so I have to remind myself that I will feel regrets and be ashamed later on, once I come down from the high from reaching out to them.

Sometimes I know how upset I’ll be and make the decision to reach out anyway.

It comes with an almost instant sense of regret and anger toward myself, especially if I don’t get a response back.

If you know that you have a history of being upset after contacting your ex, make your life easier and improve your self awareness by listening to your instincts.

additional content: the hot girl’s guide on bouncing back when a guy ends things

there’s always someone better for you out there.

Remember that this person is not in your life anymore for a reason.

When it feels like you have no other options or that this person is the best that it’s ever going to get, I want you to remember that there’s other, better options.

Be patient and open minded. Give yourself the chance to explore other options. Oftentimes, I’ll have a hard time letting go of someone in my head, which means I don’t allow myself to meet other people.

I get stuck in a cycle of thinking that this person will always be around, and we’re just in a tough spot right now.

You really have to let go of the notion that you may patch things up, and you have to let go of thinking that this is the only person that you’d be compatible with.

Be willing to find someone better for you.

As soon as I start talking to someone new who I’m starting to like or see potential in, I’m always like “what was I thinking? This is so great, and everything is going to be perfect.”

Things usually look worse when you’re in it. Be open to moving on from this person who’s shown you, very disrespectfully, just how much they don’t want you.

reminders for the days you want to reach out to your ex again