how to make peace with spending holidays alone
This year, my parents won’t be home for Thanksgiving, which means I don’t think I’ll be traveling during this upcoming holiday.
One, because of all the airport delays and madness happening. And two, because it just doesn’t make sense to make that trip, especially as it’s so close now.
It’s daunting to spend the holidays alone, and I’m nervous that I’ll feel lonely and sad.
It’s also not the first time I’ve had to spend the holidays alone. There have been years where I’ve had to work on Thanksgiving and New Years.
Many people spend the holidays alone, and you can make it a peaceful, enjoyable time by creating your own traditions, erasing shame and limiting triggers.
don’t be ashamed
There are so many people who spend the holidays alone for various reasons.
Maybe you had a fallout with your family, have to work, get stuck in a city away from your loved ones, don’t have friends to celebrate with, etc.
You’re not alone. I know how I often feel like the only person by myself on a holiday, where everyone is surrounded by loved ones.
I feel like I’m uncool or friendless, though I’m here to tell you not to listen to these thoughts if you feel similarly.
Remember, there are so many people spending quality time with themselves this season. And I’m looking forward to being a part of that this year.
additional content: the power of gratitude
making peace with solo holidays
My first instinct when I realized I’d be spending Thanksgiving alone was to cry and isolate myself from the people responsible for me spending it alone, such as I’ve done in previous years.
But I’m in a different place and have more self love now than I did the last time I spent the holidays alone four years ago.
The most important thing for me this year was to acknowledge and fully believe that not spending the traditional holiday with my family or friends is a determinant of my worth.
It doesn’t make me less of a person or define who I am or my relationships.
It doesn’t mean I don’t have people who love me in life, and it doesn’t mean I should cut people off for not being able to be there with me during this occasion.
additional content: self love ways to spend your birthday alone
creating your own traditions
This year, I’m going to go to Pilates in the morning and make homemade macaroni and cheese with other foods for my own personal Thanksgiving.
One of the main things keeping me going is finding joy in moments I create. I’m looking forward to cooking my own meal, which I’ve never done on a holiday. In fact, I’ve never made macaroni and cheese ever.
When it feels like everyone is celebrating traditions with their families, be emboldened to create your own traditions this season.
Maybe your new tradition will be volunteering every Christmas morning.
Or it could be going on a solo trip around New Year’s.
Maybe it’s even festively decorating your place and drinking hot cocoa. The options are endless, and I encourage you to take advantage.
read related: how to deal with being lonely
limiting triggers
As we focus on alternatives to feeling sad due to spending a holiday alone, I do want to acknowledge that your feelings are valid.
Diana Winston, director of UCLA Mindful, said loneliness is an issue during winter holidays, and not having people to spend the days with “can compound any existing loneliness and worsen it during the holiday times.”
Try to limit triggers that will remind you of the situation, such as staying off social media or not triggering yourself with holiday movies or TV shows.
Triggers look different for everyone. And if this holiday is affecting you, do what you can to make sure your mental health is set up for success to get through this time.
