how to stop being so hard on yourself
We’re too hard on ourselves.
Every day can feel like a struggle to be kinder to myself and talk to myself in a way that isn’t harsh.
Being hard on ourselves is something that has become so normalized in society, and I’ll often find myself putting my worth down in front of others.
Whether it’s saying “ugh, I’m so stupid” when I make a mistake, or saying “my hair looks so bad today” when I don’t like my appearance.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, especially for things that are human, real and honest. You should give yourself grace because self love is about being your own biggest cheerleader and supporter.
If you’re constantly being harsh to yourself or putting yourself down, it can really have an effect on your self worth and self love.
To stop being so hard on yourself, let go of negative self talk, practice kindness and self compassion and use tools to remind yourself of your inner goodness.
why am I so hard on myself?
I often wonder why am I so hard on myself because there’s no benefits to being harsh or blaming myself for things I can’t control.
There’s no benefit to being mean to yourself and never being willing to give yourself a break or pass.
Life is so much lighter when you remind yourself you’re only human.
I don’t have to be perfect. I shouldn’t be perfect. I should feel comfortable in my mistakes, my faults and my problem areas.
Getting to a place of comfort can be difficult. And do we ever fully get comfortable with everything?
The one thing I do know is being too hard on yourself is a recipe for disaster.
Being your own enemy gets you nowhere.
It just makes your life harder and your love for yourself smaller. Give yourself grace. A mistake is a mistake. A flaw is a flaw. Why obsess over things you can’t control or things you don’t get perfect?
how to stop being hard on yourself
You have to let the negative thoughts go. You have to be open to making mistakes.
You have to take deep breaths and center your being to remind yourself to release the negative energy and harsh thoughts.
let negative thoughts and negative self talk go
I feel like we all talk negatively to ourselves at some point. Sometimes I get so mean and call myself dumb, stupid, and all kinds of mean and unfair names.
What makes it worse is that I’ll obsess over stopping it so much that I get into a cycle of attempting to avoid those thoughts, which can lead to me being even more critical of myself and blaming my mind for still thinking about certain things or people.
It’s important to start challenging negative thoughts. Don’t let them live rent free in your head. That’s not fair to you.
Take a breath. Understand the thoughts and the feeling that comes with the thoughts. Try to replace the negative thoughts with something more positive but also realistic and natural.
Try to spark a balance of self realization that the thoughts are present with a level of distraction to let the thoughts pass on naturally but timely.
read more: letting negative thoughts go
practice kindness and gratitude
When you feel yourself being hard on yourself, you have to remember that you’re human, and this is your first time doing life.
Be kind to yourself, and give yourself grace for the mistakes, troubles and unfortunate situations you may find yourself in.
Try to be grateful that you’re able to make mistakes and learn from them. You still have a life to live, and you can go through it with a little bit more wisdom.
Maybe the mistake or challenge, that you’re being hard on yourself for, helped you grow.
Maybe it led you to meet someone who is an important part of your life now. Maybe you learned a valuable skill that you can take advantage of and use in the next step of your career.
Whatever you’re being hard on yourself for, think of how you would act if your best friend or partner did the same. Give yourself the same kindness you give to others.
practice self compassion
In a world where there’s constant negativity and judgement, where there’s always something to criticize and dislike, be the one that has your best interest at heart.
Be the one who has the nicest thing to say about yourself. Be the one who shields your heart from all the hate in the world.
I can stand in the mirror for five minutes and think of every little detail wrong with the way I look. I can overthink at night and create problems I didn’t even know I had.
Sometimes it seems like I can’t escape my mind. Sometimes it seems like I get lost in this world of thoughts where I can’t help but put myself down.
It’s so easy to ruminate and concentrate on the negative things. It’s so easy to be hard on yourself. What’s not easy? Giving yourself a break. Being easy on yourself. Stopping the terrible thoughts about yourself in their tracks.
Reversing your mindset when you start to be harsh on the way you look, the way you act, the way you think, the way you talk, the way you work, etc.
In my head, I’m 10x worse than I am. It’s hard to see the positive things. It’s hard to see the beautiful things.
Sure! I have those moments, often actually, where I feel good about myself. I’m proud of myself and where I am.
But don’t those negative moments always seem to outweigh the positive?
I can think positive most of the day, but those random moments of doubt, of being too harsh, of thinking of everything wrong make me forget about the good moments.
affirmations for being less hard on yourself
I am worthy of love, even on the days I don't feel like it.
I trust my voice, my power, and my presence.
I’m not perfect, and that’s what makes me hot.
my worth isn’t measured by how productive I am today.
I release the idea that I have to be everything to everyone.
my energy is too sacred to waste on overthinking.
if it costs my inner peace, it’s too expensive.
every day, I release the things that no longer serve me.
I let go of old thoughts that tell me I am unworthy.
I choose progress over perfection.
I am not my mistakes -- I am my growth.
