advice for the women who are tired of being strong

Do you feel like you’re constantly putting on a facade? I want to look like the girl who has it all put together. I want to look cool, calm and collected all the time.

I’m trying to balance my career, friendships, relationship, hobbies, health and family time. But I’m tired. I’m drained, and I miss when I had more down time to relax and rest.

I’m also tired of being strong all the time. I want to crash out and scream when things don't work out, or when I’m just overwhelmed. But I always feel the need to fix my crown and keep on going.

If you are tired of being strong, I have some advice for you:

Choose your battles

If you feel pressure to give your energy into too many things and feel like you have been staying strong for too long, choose your battles. Choose what you can put your energy into at the moment, and give yourself freedom to rest. 

Too often, I’m trying to address every single problem or stressor for the day. Sometimes if you’re feeling overwhelmed and like you can’t solve the world (or your life for the day), decide what’s most important to fix and put your energy into. 

Maybe today you want to address the silent argument you’ve been having with your mom, and tomorrow you can address applying to more jobs. 

It’s okay to not be able to handle everything in one day. Take your rest. You have done such a great job of being strong, and you’ll be able to continue without burning out if you take the little bit of rest you can today. 

Tired of being an independent woman

I love how I can handle anything thrown at me. I love how I don’t need anyone and don’t rely on anyone in my life to be able to do things for me. I love my strength and independence, but sometimes I am tired of being an independent woman.

It can be exhausting constantly having to do it all. It ranges for me as well — I don’t want to have to carry the new couch I just got all the way to my apartment. I don’t want to let the pickle jar sit in my cabinet for months because I still haven’t been able to open it. I don’t want to have to pay all my bills every single month while figuring out what to cut in my budget. 

But I do it. 

I think it’s important to applaud yourself for being able to do hard things by yourself. Lean into the satisfaction of knowing you accomplished something that you didn’t know you could. It’s amazing what you can do when you believe in yourself, and I’m so proud of you for that. 

But at the same time, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help if you need it and have a network around you. Ask your friends to help you out when you’re moving. Make arrangements if you are struggling financially. 

As an independent woman, do what you have to do to get yourself back on track. Oftentimes, we want to prove we can do anything and everything, which can cause us to get less done due to burnout or lack of time.

Plan ahead by reaching out for assistance or support when you need it to be able to keep successfully moving forward in life. 

Allow yourself to feel and be emotional

I hate crying so bad. Even more than that, I can’t stand showing emotions in front of other people. I can think of every time I’ve cried in front of someone in the past several years because I’m so used to thinking it’s a negative thing and think it shows that I’m weak. 

You’re not weak if you are emotional. Someone can have their lives a lot more put together and deal with every hardship with grace while still going home and crying to release some nights, than someone who keeps it all bottled in.

There’s no rule or cause and correlation for letting yourself feel. In fact, your emotions may come back doubled and hit you at the worst possible time. 

Tired of being strong for everyone else

Of course, I have to make sure I get my point across that you should prioritize self love and being there for you first and foremost.

I’m in a state where I’m trying to make sure I pour into myself and properly give myself rest before I give other people parts of me and my energy. 

While I’m also unmarried and have no children, so my priorities are a little different. But I still think it would be important to make sure you are well rested and energized physically and spiritually before doing all you can for those in your life who you also have to prioritize. It’s difficult to pour into someone’s kettle if you don’t have any tea to provide. 

Another thing I want you to know is you should never let anyone make you feel bad for what you’re doing and not doing. If you’re trying your best and doing the most you can do without burning yourself out for the people around you, you should be proud of yourself. 

No one knows how drained and fatigue you are from always having to be strong, so don’t let anyone make you feel bad for the things you haven’t done yet. 

I am strong but I am tired

You are doing great and way better than you think.

Allow yourself to lean into the tiredness and rest. You have been so strong, and you should appreciate yourself for handling the ups and downs of your life. 

Life is too short to consistently put yourself down.

Sometimes giving yourself grace is harder than being strong. We are way too critical and hard on ourselves, so I challenge you to accept that you can slow down and put your guard down.

You can show emotion and allow yourself to be human.