feeling unlovable during seasonal depression & how to ground yourself
It’s cold. It’s dark. It’s rainy. And I feel depressed almost every evening.
It truly feels unbearable sometimes. I feel like I’m in a constant loop every year. I spent most of my life denying I get seasonal depression.
Because if I get depressed randomly throughout the year, do I really have seasonal depression?
But this year is really getting to me. I thought things might be better, being in my first relationship and all, but why didn’t anyone tell me that a man wouldn’t solve my problems?
And I know! That’s truly on me for even thinking that could be the case. But sometimes you look at life in a microscope, avoiding the big picture.
I was so sad and embarrassed about being in my mid-20s never having been in a relationship, and it was taking over my emotions constantly.
But once I got into it, I’m over the moon for a couple months, then reality hits that this person isn’t shielding my sadness.
Things still hurt sometimes, and I still feel pain for several other things. If I pointed my microscope in additional directions, I may have seen it coming.
So here I am, in one of the coldest Decembers I can remember, not able to sleep and feeling doubts and insecurities pop up in the middle of the night.
Here I am questioning my worth and if this man actually loves me.
Here I am wondering if my charm, or whatever he initially saw in me, wore off and now he realizes he never really loved me.
I mean what is love anyway?
Seasonal depression is a beast that makes me have to even question that.
how to ground yourself when seasonal depression hits
Start by acknowledging the feeling. Seasonal depression brings up emotions that you may have seen or felt before.
It may be more or less intense, and they may arise at times or places you’re unfamiliar with.
Take note of what’s coming up and when. Affirm that you will be okay.
If you need some examples of how, here are some affirmations for overcoming seasonal depression that will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel:
It’s okay if your capacity looks different this time of year.
You don’t have to power through every feeling to be okay.
Your emotions are signals, not flaws.
You’re allowed to feel low without needing to justify it.
The hard days don’t erase your strength.
You can let yourself soften without falling apart.
Your worth isn’t tied to how productive you are.
You’re doing better than you think, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
You can hold space for both heaviness and hope.
It’s okay to take things one simple task at a time.
You’re allowed to rest before you feel burned out.
Not every moment needs to be productive to be meaningful.
You can let comfort in without earning it.
read more affirmations for overcoming seasonal depression here.
combat low moments and overthinking with self love
Use your own self love to redirect yourself to the truth and distract yourself from self destructing.
And what do I mean by that? In those low moments, remind yourself of what’s important. (The answer is your happiness and wellbeing.)
If the worst happens to me, I know that I’ll be alright. I’ve made it through some of the worst moments emotionally, though it may have taken a lot of time.
I know that I won’t stick around while someone repeatedly shows me they don’t want me because I’ve, unfortunately, experienced what that’s like.
I know when it’s happening, and I know how to get out of that situation.
I know that if I feel they aren’t giving me enough attention or time, I need to do more solo activities and fill my own time. I’m clearly not doing enough to satisfy my boredom and need to focus on myself.
When seasonal depression hits, remind yourself of situations that proved you are lovable and promise yourself you’ll be okay, even if love ends.
It can just feel hard to remember all these things, and it can be hard when you’re feeling sad and want someone to try harder. You’re worth more than how some boy, or girl, is making you feel.
Recenter your doubts, fears, questions and overthinking to the reality that you will be more than fine no matter what happens. The self love you have should outweigh any thing that pops up.
