tips for when you feel like you’re “too much” for people
Have you ever heard you were “too much,” “too emotional,” “too dramatic,” etc.?
Then welcome to womanhood.
In the words of Amaya Papaya (the people’s princess!): “I’m a big, loving person and other people just view it as me being ‘too much’ for them, but I’m not going to change who I am for anybody.”
If there’s one thing this season of Love Island has taught me, it’s to never dim my light and never settle for people who think I’m too much for them. And you might just win 100K from it (yes, I love Amaya down.)
Society teaches girls at a young age that we’re more emotional and dramatic than men, so oftentimes we try to shy away from being that way and lean into covering our emotions up. I know for myself that I hate showing people my feelings, and I hateee crying in front of people.
But is it so bad to show a little emotion and express how you’re truly feeling?
One of the reasons Amaya won this season and became a fan favorite is because of her vulnerability and her ability to stick up for herself when guys didn’t cherish that she wears her heart on her sleeve.
In a world that wants us to be controlled and limited, don’t be afraid to stick out and be emotional, vulnerable, dramatic, etc. And here are some tips for breaking out of that shell to let your true feelings be shown.
Accept yourself and your emotions first.
The first step is to acknowledge that you may be a more emotional person than others around you. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, and once you accept it yourself, then you’re ready to defend yourself against people who talk ill about you.
This was hard for me because I do not like being emotional, but I know that I’m super sensitive. I let myself be sensitive and have expressed to people that I’m romantically involved with and friends that I can tend to be more sensitive.
Initially, it’s hard to accept. But once you start taking away some of the stigma and negative societal feelings toward it, you start being more okay with it.
Let go of people who condemn or try to change you.
Once you accept that you’re a more emotional individual, you’ll notice how some people will try to change or condemn you for your feelings. Don’t let them.
Stand up for yourself and call them out for judging you for who you are. You shouldn’t change who you are and how you feel, but you should change who is in your life if they’re making you feel bad.
“You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone profusely. But don't apologize for being who you are.” ― Danielle Laporte
Never apologize for who you are. That’s when you bow down to their preferences and allow yourself to be manipulated into the version of them they want you to be.
Reminders for you:
Being “too much” is a personal preference.
You are never too much for the right people.
Don’t let people convince you to change yourself to fit their narrative of how you should act.
Allow yourself to feel and be vulnerable with your emotions.
Never dim your light for anyone or anything.
Always be the truest version of yourself.
“You will be too much for some people. Those aren't your people.”
― Germany Kent
