You can grow confidence in little ways, from acknowledging things you like about yourself on a regular basis to keeping small promises to yourself.
Confidence can be grown by doing things that intimidate you and by limiting self-deprecating jokes.
Our society is so filled with media and products that are meant to make us feel insecure and less than others.
Everything feels like a comparison to unrealistic standards, and our ancestors surely didn’t have to face this much perfectionist pressure.
But I’m here to tell you that there are ways to grow self-confidence because it’s important to your mental health and wellbeing.
Self love is driven so much by confidence that it’d be doing you a disservice if we didn’t focus on strengthening that quality.
So dedicate only thirty days to improve your confidence and become a more self-assured person by next month!
Here are 8 ways to feel more confident in the next 30 days.
small ways to become more confident in a month
write down three things you like about yourself every week
It can be anything, from the way your hair looks to how motivated you are at work. You can like physical traits, personality traits, emotional traits, etc., but I recommend to mix it up.
Don’t only put things you like about your appearance, or make sure to include something about your appearance if everything else seems to be related to your profession. You get the picture!
Physically writing the list in a notebook, sticky notes, phone or other method, makes it more of a reality/reinforcement than simply thinking about them.
small plug: check out self love diaries’ 90-day self love journal. it has weekly recap space where you can reflect on what you’ve loved about yourself that week & more.
keep one small promise to yourself every day
Keeping commitments and promises that you’ve made to yourself is important because it grows self-trust and self-confidence.
Self trust allows you to be confident that you’ll make good decisions and know what’s in your best interest.
You want to be able to trust yourself, and it doesn’t feel good to constantly need other people’s opinion, validation or approval.
Keep one small promise to yourself every day of these 30 days. It could be a day staying sober, not spending any money, giving a compliment to a stranger, etc. The fun part is coming up with a new promise to keep to yourself every day.
Discipline and consistency are important for becoming a confident person, so be intentional for the next 30 days!
read related: how to stop breaking promises to yourself and rebuild consistency
take yourself on three solo dates
Thirty days is plenty of time for three solo dates! It can be an inexpensive outing, or you can splurge as much as you want.
The beauty of solo dates is they’re all about your favorite things to do and what you make out of the experience.
Solo dates can grow your confidence because you become more comfortable with doing things out and about on your own.
A lot of people feel nervous or embarrassed about being seen in certain places by themselves, but there’s nothing wrong with a confident woman enjoying time with herself.
solo date ideas: dine-in movie, lunch at a fancy restaurant, museum visit, spa day, cooking class, shopping trip, road trip, concert or festival.
read more tips: tips for going out by yourself and enjoying solo time
stop making self-deprecating jokes
Stop with the self-deprecation! Putting yourself down (even as a joke) isn’t cute, especially the older you get.
It’s good to be able to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too seriously.
But it gets to a point where you’re making yourself more insecure (and outwardly showing your own insecurity) by criticizing yourself all the time.
So your goal for the next 30 days is to not joke about being bad at xyz, looking bad that day, messing up on something or other flaws. Your goal is also to stop downplaying achievements or something you’re proud of.
You don’t have to be cocky, but confident people don’t constantly put themselves down as a joke.
initiate a conversation with someone new
Confident people can be introverts too. But there are times when you have to lead a meeting, speak up in a difficult situation or meet new people.
So the next challenge for you is to initiate a conversation with someone new.
I realize this may not be hard for the extroverts among us, but some people find it really hard to socialize, especially in awkward situations.
Try to spark a small conversation with someone in line, a friend of a friend at a party, a new coworker that just started, your hairstylist in the middle of your service, etc.
You can do it. I believe in you!
do one thing every week that slightly intimidates you
Dig deep for this one. Think of things, people and scenarios that intimidate you, and challenge yourself to get more comfortable with that feeling.
For example, you might feel intimidated to speak up to your boss if you disagree with them.
So challenge yourself to speak up if something bothers you, or if you have a different vision for something (respectfully of course!)
If setting a boundary intimidates you, plan to set a boundary this week for something that you’ve been meaning to for a while.
This is your perfect opportunity to do a few things that scare you, so you can grow confidence in yourself and your ability to handle intimidating things.
stop announcing your insecurities before anyone notices them
Similarly to self-deprecating jokes, you don’t always have to tell people your insecurities.
Some things are okay to keep to yourself, especially if it doesn’t fit into the conversation. I understand if you’re opening up to friends, family or a partner about struggles you’re facing. That’s more than okay!
But you don’t have to immediately express your insecurities about how your outfit looks, how weird that one problem area you have on your body is, speech problems you feel sad about, etc. to someone right after meeting them.
You don’t have to explain something you have that’s unconventional. Repeatedly saying it out loud just keeps it on your mind.
For example, acne is one of my biggest insecurities. Although I talk about it sometimes, I try to remind myself that it only brings attention to it, and makes people start staring at it.
But again, if it helps you to discuss insecurities with people you trust, you definitely should.
make a list of things you've accomplished you’re proud of
It’s so important to keep a record of things that you’re proud of, work accomplishments, education accolades, emails/texts people have sent giving you praise, etc.
When you’re in doubt or feeling bad about yourself, it makes a world of difference to look back at a folder filled with positive things that discredit any doubts or self-criticism you’re experiencing.
Praise can definitely add to your confidence, but you shouldn’t outwardly seek it. Find a way, like this list, that can bring you comfort in the low moments.
In 30 days, you’ll be a brand new person! Be intentional, and focus on things you personally know you need to prioritize.
