the reality of the burnout you feel in your mid-20s

Being in your mid-twenties feels like a rush. 

You have career ambitions and are trying to figure out what your path looks like, while facing imposter syndrome and comparison. 

You’re trying to find love and potentially start a family, while dealing with complicated feelings and failed relationships and talking stages.

You are dealing with changing family dynamics, and trying to find your voice. 

All of these can burn you out, and you may not even realize or acknowledge it. But it’s silently in the background, raising your anxiety and exhaustion at the same time. 

Once you accept what’s burning you out and come to terms with it, you can start making changes and live your best life. 

career ambitions, imposter syndrome & comparison. 

When you’re in your twenties, you’re trying to figure out your career and what you want to do with your life. You may be trying to convince yourself the degree you spent years earning, or the untraditional path you branched out into, wasn’t a mistake. 

In this economy, it feels like, at least in my field, that the requirements are rising for the same entry-level jobs people seemed to snag easily just years prior. It seems everyone is getting laid off left and right, and it’s a ticking time bomb until my fate is sealed. 

Then there’s social media, and LinkedIn. It seems like people are always posting about your personal dream job or career path. But you don’t see the struggles it took for them to get to your dream spot. 

You also don’t get a clear picture of the ratio. This person that seems like they have the perfect career is one out of millions, or billions, of people who would love to have that career. It’s not fair to yourself to compare your career to this one person, and think that everyone’s above you. 

similar reading: how to handle feeling incompetent at work

You’re doing better than you think, and comparison will only lead to overthinking and burnout. You’ll drive yourself crazy thinking of why you’re stuck or not as happy as you want to be. 

Then when you do get a great job you’ve been waiting for, imposter syndrome can hit. 

Imposter syndrome is when you feel you don’t belong or deserve to be in your job. It’s the feeling of inadequacy and insecurity that may come when you feel like you got a position too soon or too high up. 

The feelings can be rooted in perfectionism and high ambition. It can also be very prominent within minorities and marginalized groups who are in prominently white institutions, due to inequality, systematic racism and lack of representation. 

Due to lack of representation in higher positions in certain fields, it can really take a toll on your confidence when there seems to be higher standards and more scrutiny based on what you look like. This is why it’s so important to have diversity and representation in top roles. 

When faced with imposter syndrome and career comparison, it’s crucial to refresh your memory of why you belong in a certain room. 

You’re more than worthy of being around other successful people you admire. You’re more than capable of doing hard things at work and succeeding through things you didn’t think you could. 

additional content: journal prompts to help you fight imposter syndrome

endless love cycle & finding the one

Relationships, situationships and crushes are exhausting. 

Sometimes it feels like your heart is taking endless beatings from the highs and lows of romantic feelings. 

Most of us want true love in this lifetime. We want to feel like we’re in a romantic movie and will get swept off our feet. Because that’s what all the romcoms and Disney movies we watched growing up taught us, right? 

So when another potential partner doesn’t work out, it can feel like the end of the world. It can feel like you’re starting over, and it feels like your timeline to get married and have kids gets pushed back.

But those are just feelings, and not the reality. 

The reality is you dodged a bullet. You dodged settling down with someone for the rest of your life that you’re not meant to be with. You dodged trading short term happiness for long term sadness.  

more reading:how to keep going when healing feels lonely

It’s scary, and it’s overwhelming to start over and be open to finding love, after spending months or years with someone. But I’m proud of you for making that decision and choosing yourself. 

Choosing yourself, however, can be truly exhausting. It’s not easy, and that’s the reality of it. You can feel burned out from all the first dates and failed talking stages. You can feel burned out from having to patch yourself up after being vulnerable and expressing real feelings. 

That’s why it’s important to feed your soul, give yourself time and focus on self love between relationships. Don’t try to rush to find the one, or ignore deep feelings of pain and insecurity that can arise from heartbreak. 

changing family dynamics

As we get older, it seems our roles in our family changes. 

Some people may have added pressure to contribute financially or emotionally to their families. Some people may have to start taking care of older or younger family members. And some people may develop unfavorable outlooks on certain people in their family. 

We’re not kids anymore, and that can be disorienting for parents or guardians. It can create power struggles as we start to stand up for ourselves and refuse disrespect. 

It can be so stressful and emotionally tiring to disagree or constantly argue with your family. It took me forever to admit to not having a great relationship with certain people because I wanted to so badly.

And when you want things to work out, but things just aren’t aligning, it can burn you out and leave you hurt. It can be hard on both parties.

But when you’re in your twenties, you’re getting used to fresh feelings and new dynamics that you may not have had when you were underage.

You may not have had the freedom or confidence to speak up and say when things aren’t right or upset you.