tips to stop feeling embarrassed about everything
There are a million things that you can be embarrassed about these days, but embarrassment is also a feeling that you can choose whether or not to feel.
Society tries to judge us for any and everything, especially in the presence of social media. It seems you can record someone doing anything and make fun of them for being human. You can take an ordinary moment and blow it out of proportion.
But at the end of the day, you decide what you find embarrassing.
If you slip and fall on the stairs, remember humans are clumsy. You’re not the biggest embarrassment people who witnessed the fall will ever see in their life, or even that day.
If you fumble over your words in a meeting, tell yourself no one noticed (and honestly, they probably didn’t think twice about it.)
We tend to be so much harder on ourselves than we deserve. We think the smallest things are going to make or break us. We overthink small fumbles and mistakes, and we believe that those mishaps will define us.
To stop being embarrassed about everything, stop reacting in the moment, practice doing “scary” things and embrace life as being a little awkward.
don’t try to limit embarrassing moments
The more you “embarrass” yourself, the more you stop caring about the little embarrassments.
You can’t live life scared to do anything, give your opinion or take a risk. You can’t live in fear of embarrassment or rejection. If you do, you’ll forever be afraid of how others perceive you.
If you let yourself act naturally, and embarrass yourself along the way, you care less.
Being less embarrassed about everything also comes with age and experience.
I’ve noticed I stopped caring as much over time about presenting myself in a perfect manner, and I get less sensitive about what people around me are doing.
Life is a little awkward, and pretending you’re always perfect is exhausting. Embrace your humanity and life’s awkwardness. Otherwise, you’ll drive yourself crazy with anxiety.
practice doing “scary” things
Have you ever seen videos of people doing “rejection therapy,” where they ask a stranger to buy them coffee or something else random?
They’re trying to feel more comfortable with the feeling of rejection and doing something embarrassing.
I’m not saying you have to go out and embarrass yourself on purpose, but the more you do things that you find "embarrassing" now, the less embarrassing it’ll be to you over time.
(So maybe I am telling you to go out and embarrass yourself on purpose!)
But moreso, do something that scares you a little bit, such as taking yourself out to a solo dinner or asking someone out. Try to speak up in a meeting or apply for something you’re slightly underqualified for.
Taking small risks (and making yourself a little uncomfortable) can teach you that uncomfortable feeling won’t kill you.
stop reacting in the moment
If something embarrassing happens to you, don’t immediately call it out or shy away from it.
For example, if your card declines in the store, don’t loudly profess it must be a mistake. Don’t look around to see who noticed, and don’t spew a million excuses for why it declined.
Those reactions are only going to make you more anxious and bring attention to the situation.
Instead, pull out a different card, use cash or simply say nevermind to the transaction. Think about how many times cashiers experience declined cards, and think about how many times your card has declined (or been close to declining) in a store.
Take it on the chin and keep it pushing. If you keep your reactions to a minimum, you might not even be thinking about the moment in an hour.
remind yourself of what you actually find embarrassing
When you’re overthinking about embarrassing yourself, remind yourself of the last time you judged someone or thought something someone did was humiliating.
And I’m talking about specifically in real life, not social media!
Chances are you can’t think of anything, it’s been a really long time or that moment wasn’t as bad as you remember.
Remind yourself of times when you’ve actually found things embarrassing, and don’t feel like you have to be ashamed just because someone other than you found something embarrassing.
For example, I fainted a few months ago in front of several people. At first, I was in shock and in a daze waking up, not knowing what happened. But then someone told me that I shouldn’t be embarrassed.
While yes, I shouldn’t be embarrassed, it wasn’t even on my radar until it was mentioned as something potentially mortifying. So remember that what’s embarrassing to someone doesn’t have to define or influence what’s embarrassing to you.
Because remember, embarrassment is a feeling you choose or choose not to feel.
