what happiness feels like & small ways to achieve it
Being happy is an emotion that not everyone is fortunate enough to feel on a regular basis. It can sometimes feel like a challenge to achieve, and I feel like there’s also doubt about if one is truly happy.
I find myself feeling highs and lows in life, while craving the feeling of being happy. Feeling happy to me feels like warmth and smiles. It can also feel like content and satisfaction of life and my current state of being.
It’s not always sunshines and butterflies. Maybe it’s looking around and feeling loved or appreciative of your surroundings and lifestyle. Feeling happy can look like a lot of different things, and I want to explore the complexity of happiness and how you can achieve it in small ways.
What is happiness & what does true happiness feel like?
Happiness is an emotional state of well-being and contentment. Everyone has a different standard of what makes them happy and how they reach this level of satisfaction, but many people recognize that state of mind to be joyful and pleasing.
“Typically, happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction,” according to Verywell Mind.
When it comes to the psychology of happiness, the organization says psychologists and other social scientists use “subjective well-being” when they talk about the emotional state of happiness.
“Subjective well-being (SWB), also known as self-reported well-being, refers to how people experience and evaluate different aspects of their lives. It is often used to measure mental health and happiness, and it can be an important predictor of individual health, wellness, and longevity,” according to Verywell Mind.
So happiness is subjective, and there’s not a clear and present way to quantify it for our purposes here. But I want to lean into the personal aspect of it. Although it’s not a universal measurement that I can track for you, it is a state of being that I think flows through self awareness and your personal experiences.
Psychology Today says “overall, being happy is to live with mindfulness, meaning, and purpose.”
“Happiness incorporates curiosity, and the ability to tolerate risk and anxiety to discover new passions and facets of identity. It involves a balance between momentary pleasure and longer-term striving toward goals. It is abetted by friends and family who can both celebrate accomplishments and provide support after failures,” they write.
They also say it includes “the ability to acknowledge and embrace every emotion, even the unpleasant ones” and “involves seeing the big picture, rather than getting stuck in the details.”
What makes people happy & small ways to find happiness in your everyday life
There are several things that make people happy. Your personal preferences really determine what you enjoy and what you feel satisfied with. It’s also very possible to find your happiness and be intentional about finding small ways to achieve more happiness in your life.
close relationships
A Harvard University study, that began in 1938, holds true over 80 years later that embracing community helps people live longer and be happier. The study followed Harvard men for decades, while expanding to include their offspring, and expanding further in recent decades.
“The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,” said Robert Waldinger, director of the study. “Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.”
The study found close relationships are what keep people happy. The relationships we keep, whether it’s family, friends, coworkers, significant others, etc., are important to happiness.
I find myself craving interactions with the people around me I love. I’m also aware that I am more of a people person, so the level of interactions that make you happy really do depend on your personal preferences.
additional content: quotes about wanting more out of life
exercise & healthy habits
As much as I didn’t want to admit it a few years ago, exercising and living a healthy lifestyle can really make you happy.
We’ve heard of exercising causing the release of endorphins, but the brain also releases dopamine, serotonin and endocannabinoids when you exercise. The American Heart Association lists physical movement, being mindful and eating more plants as a few ways that can lead to a happier life.
"When you engage in physical activity, you see benefit in the form of emotional well-being," said Rosalba Hernández, a member of the American Heart Association's Lifestyle and EPI Behavioral Change for Improving Health Factors committee. She also said the better you feel, the more likely you are to stay active, calling it “a cyclical relationship.”
work-life balance
My job almost always contributes to my levels of happiness. If I’m dreading coming into work, when I don’t have the best relationships with my coworkers or if I’m just stressed and feeling undervalued, it can really negatively impact me and my levels of joy.
America’s corporate scene can be draining, high pressure and major stakes, when it doesn’t have to be. I don't think anyone should feel like they have to choose between mental health and affording to live through a job.
There was a time when I really felt like no one seemed to understand or appreciate my value, which truly affected my mental health and made me question myself and what I bring to the table.
In those moments of doubt at work, remember that you are worthy, valuable and meant for the right company. If your workplace is making you unhappy, advocate for yourself and don’t be afraid to walk away.
additional content: the struggle of self worth when feeling undervalued at work
enjoying your free time & vacations
Going on a vacation or finding ways to make life more exciting and adventurous is such a great way to find happiness. I love being excited about something because it fuels my every day life knowing I have something to look forward to and something to plan.
I love daydreaming about what activities I’m going to do and what outfits I plan on wearing. There’s a thrill that comes with traveling to a new city or country. The new food, ambiance and quirks of the fresh place can be so exciting to experience.
But you can also check out places that you’ve never been to that are close to where you live or do something adventurous and exciting in your free time. Maybe it’s hosing a game or wine night with your friends, or maybe it’s going on a solo date when you have downtime. Make enjoying your free time a priority.
Being happy without being perfect
I think we tend to associate being happy with having it all together and obtaining the perfect life. But what I’ve learned is I can be generally happy without having it all together. For example:
Do I like my job? No. But I like my life enough to not focus on my job and allow other aspects of life to make up for it.
Do I have the best body in the world? No. But I am appreciative for what it does for me. And I am encouraged and motivated to work on the parts I don’t like, which can contribute to my happiness.
Do I feel behind in life? Yeah, pretty often. But I try to take those moments and bring myself back to reality. I’m happy that I’ve achieved so much in life already. Although my achievements are not the same as other people, I know that I may be happier in certain areas of my life than who I’m comparing myself to.
You don’t have to have it all together to be happy. Life is not about being perfect or waiting for everything to align before letting yourself enjoy it. Know that you’re not going to love everything about your life and embrace that.
