the power of giving compliments to other women

Someone I deeply respect and admire just called me beautiful. (ahhh!)

It completely changed my morning around, and now I can’t stop smiling.

A compliment does wonders for my self esteem. There’s truly nothing like it, especially when I’m not feeling my best or most confident. 

I’m also the type to not appreciate male compliments as much as compliments from women.

A woman calling me pretty, intelligent, or anything hits so much harder than a man. I know a man may have ulterior motives or just like to throw them out there. 

I also grew up not getting compliments from men (until late college honestly).

They always came from my friends, who I felt they were just saying it at the time. But now I truly value them from my friends or other women more. 

While receiving compliments is always great, I also love to give them. I love telling a woman she’s pretty or that I like her outfit, hair, shoes, etc. 

It fuels something in me, and I’m happy knowing I made someone feel good for a little bit. And you never know who needs to hear it.

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breaking the discomfort from receiving compliments

While I enjoy receiving compliments, I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people feel really uncomfortable when they are complimented. 

Pyschology Today said discomfort from receiving compliments can stem from deep-rooted insecurities or imposter feelings. 

“Psychologists attribute this discomfort to cognitive dissonance — the mental tension that arises when our self-perception doesn’t align with how others see us,” they say. “If you’re your own worst critic, hearing ‘you’re incredible at this’ can feel jarring because it contradicts the narrative in your head that says, ‘I could have done better.’”

They say it’s particularly pronounced for women due to us being socialized to be modest.

So I challenge you to lean into compliments and let yourself believe and feel happy when you receive them. You deserve to feel good, and you deserve to feel confident, no matter what anyone has told you or made you feel. 

It’s even okay to be cocky sometimes. I know, I know. We’re all told not to be too cocky or conceited, but sometimes you need it to feel comfortable in your own skin. 

Sometimes you need the balance of knowing how truly incredible you are (inside and out) to make up for the times you don’t feel that way. 

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We love talk and inspiration, but let’s get into some actionable tasks you can do to break that discomfort:

• If you’re used to deflecting compliments, the next time someone gives you one, say “thank you” and don’t overthink it. Don’t deflect or make excuses. 

• Start giving other people compliments. Once you start giving them out, you’ll be more likely to feel you “deserve” one too. 

• Give yourself compliments. Getting comfortable with praising yourself can make hearing it from other easier. 

Read more: things you should absolutely stop apologizing for