things you should absolutely stop apologizing for
We apologize wayyy too much. An apology for things out of your control. An apology for being right about something. An apology for inconveniencing someone when they help you. It’s gotten too far, especially when I start checking myself after the fact.
No, I’m actually not sorry. I actually just felt awkward in the moment or I’m just thankful for something you did and feel the need to apologize to make up for it.
It’s time to stop saying sorry when it’s not your fault and stop apologizing for who you are.
If you want to know how to stop apologizing so much, here are a bunch of small ways you can start today.
stop apologizing for:
outgrowing people or places: We’re always changing, and it’s normal for us to move on or outgrow certain people or places. You don’t have to apologize for the natural experience of outgrowing things the old you enjoyed.
being emotional: Stop saying sorry for your feelings. You cannot help or change how you’re feeling in the moment, and you shouldn’t feel bad for opening up. It’s brave and real. I hate crying in front of other people or showing my emotions, but I also hate apologizing like I’m inconveniencing you with my emotions. Let’s work on it together.
voicing your opinion: Your voice and opinion is important. Don’t dim your views in life. Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself, even if it makes other people uncomfortable. There’s no need to apologize for speaking your mind in a work meeting or saying how you feel on a controversial topic.
needing a day off for mental health: There’s plenty of ways on how to stop apologizing at work, and not saying sorry for needing a mental health day is one of those. Take the day. Stop overthinking it. No one will remember in a week.
not liking someone: You don’t have a duty to like anyone, and you definitely shouldn’t say you do when you don’t. You absolutely shouldn't feel bad or apologize for not liking someone. I encourage you to be honest and straight up, otherwise you may be leading people on.
eating what you want: Whether it has a strong odor, is different from what everyone else around you is eating or you just need to apologize for your eating habits or timing, don’t! Everyone eats food, so why do you feel the need to apologize for consuming something everyone else does. Just because you may have different eating habits doesn’t mean it’s something to be sorry for.
not taking disrespect: Stand up for yourself and do it proudly. Don’t feel like you have to take crap from anyone. And when you do stand up for yourself, do not apologize before or after. You meant what you said, so stand on it firmly.
asking for help: We all need help. It’s more rare for some people, but others may depend on help more in their lives. Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help. And don’t feel the need to apologize every time you get help or ask for it. Try replacing the apology with words of thanks. They did you a favor, which is not something to say sorry for.
not engaging in small talk: My social battery is always running out, and sometimes I just don’t feel like engaging in small talk. That’s not my fault, and therefore we shouldn't feel bad about not feeling up to talking to people. Knowing yourself is better than forcing yourself to talk to people that may make you come across in a negative light.
wanting more out of life: Wanting more money, life experiences, friendships, etc. is not something to say sorry for. If you’re unhappy in life, change things up and don’t feel apologetic for wanting to better your life and happiness.
taking time for yourself: Take that PTO. Take that vacation. Take that nap. Take that solo time. Take those times you get to yourself seriously. And remember it’s not selfish or something you need to feel bad about. It’s crucial to reset and have time to yourself.
being persistent: If you want something in life, sometimes you really do have to be persistent (and dare, I say annoying). No one is going to fight harder to help you than yourself in certain situations, so don’t feel bad or apologetic for doing what you have to do to make something you want happen.
needing rest: Don’t apologize for needing rest. I know we all have different responsibilities and people dependent on us (kids, work, etc.) But you can’t pour out of an empty cup. Take the rest you need, set up appropriate resources to cover you and don’t say sorry for needing rest.
showing love: I love deeply, and I love hard. Sometimes that’s not reciprocated, and that’s okay. It’s a hard fact I’ve had to learn, but it’s an important lesson that you shouldn’t feel bad for showing love to someone, even if they don’t feel it back.
being tired: We’re always apologizing or complaining about being tired, yawning, etc. when it’s natural activities out bodies go through. Why do we apologize so much about something we can’t control to people who are probably causing it?
seeking some clarity: Life can be confusing. New tasks or a new job can be confusing. People are most definitely confusing. I always say it’s better to ask something than to be left wondering. Don’t be afraid or apologize for seeking clarity on an issue, task or anything.
saying “no”: You don’t have to apologize when you say “no!” “No” is a full sentence, and it should be treated as one. I understand politeness and respect, but not every no needs or warrants an apology. Sometimes when I say sorry, I feel myself sounding less confident and allowing the “no” to be more flexible.
not always having it all together: Hardly anyone has it all together. (I mean is there a single person that has it all together right now?) Life is complicated, and we’re human (so we’re not supposed to be perfect.) Don’t say sorry for things that make you imperfect or human. It’d be weird if you did have it all together (right?)
changing your mind: You’re allowed to change your mind! Please do not let people make you feel bad about something you thought was a good idea or that you were okay in the beginning but then later made you feel differently. Own the change and don’t say sorry for doing it.
not answering every message immediately: I’m busy, you’re busy, we’re all busy. I’ve noticed as I age and get busier, I just don’t have the time to respond to every message immediately. I might not get back to you for a little while, and that’s okay. Give people grace and give yourself grace without feeling the need to apologize every time you don’t back to someone right away.
